There is a stirring happening inside of me. A spark an energy that has been lying dormant waiting again for its time to come alive once again. The time has come, the fire is returning, the spark awakening. The feeling is palpable as if a current of energy is crackling around me, stirring me to life creating a magnetic force around me. I dare not turn it away. I dare not tell it to go back asleep back to a safe place where I can keep it hidden. I do not dare. It would cost me too much. I know this now. The cost is to high one that I am not willing to take, to chance, to play with. It scares me this energy I won’t lie. I am terrified of it, of the things it is making me want to do, that it is pushing me towards and yet I a part of me welcomes it. It laps it up, hungry for it, yearning for the flames to lick away the wounds that have long since gone away. This is what terrifies me, the feeling of eagerness to let this spark, this fire to lead me to guide me further in my purpose and in my path. I have played it safe for far too long, afraid of setting things in motion, afraid of what others would think, afraid of how irrevocably my life would be changed, afraid to leave this box I have created for myself, the comfort zone I have dared not leave. Great things cannot be accomplished by playing it safe, transformation does not occur within in the confines of the boxes we have created for ourselves to live in. What is this life meant for if not to take chances, risk, to be bold and to stretch ourselves beyond what we think we are capable of.
I was reminded of this very act this weekend while attending a workshop, a workshop where I was stretched, challenged and given an excuse to play a role I don’t normally play. I was given an opportunity to step outside my comfort zone, to tap into an energy that I had been running from for far to long. The results were beyond anything I could have imagined. I felt free, I felt good I felt a sense of smugness from that source that said see what were you so worried about. I was brilliant, engaged, strong and I was powerful. All without losing the gentleness I so appreciate about who I am. All without losing the love I strive to keep in everything I do. This workshop blew apart any excuses I had given myself as to why I couldn’t let this spark out, it blew apart the box I had been hiding in and blew apart any illusion I had been painting for my life. ( For those who interested into what workshop this was it was the Meet the Model workshop put on by The Coach Training Institute well worth checking out!)
I left the workshop feeling alive in ways I have not been alive in a long time, a part of me had been awakened more fully to the surface of my being. A new spark has emerged has taken a hold of my heart in ways I can’t really begin to explain. My world is colored different, my perspectives have changed, I have found a sense of courage and freedom that I have been praying to find for a long time. A sense that I can really do all that I wish to achieve and to be and even a willingness to take a chance to play bold and step out of my safe place that I have stayed hidden in for a long time. I don’t know what it’s going to look like and at this point I don’t really care what I do know is this, I will never know how far I can go unless I try. I will never know what I can become if I don’t at least take a step towards what I want to be. I won’t ever know how rich this life can really be unless I use the wings I have been given and fly. As a wise woman once said to me, you have wings use them!
Today I celebrate the gift of authenticity and what that brings into my life.
Authenticity allows me to have deep and meaningful relationships with others, myself and the world around me.
Authenticity allows me to stand strong in myself, what I stand for and what I bring forth into the world.
Being authentic creates a pride in my actions, my words and my intentions that I spread into the world.
Being authentic means I feel good about my choices and who I show up as in relationships and in all areas in my life.
Authenticity brings truth, clarity, and a rightness to my life and my whole self.
Being authentic means I live without regrets, that I am able to look back on my life with pride knowing I did what I could to to stay true to myself, being authentic means I am in a state of vulnerability, that I am honest to myself and to the world. That by being authentic I create the space for others to do so as well.
Authenticity brings me to a place of empowerment, of strength and of freedom. It allows me to fly unburdened into the sky’s of my dreams and look back and see the path that I walked is one laced with lightness and purity of heart and soul.
Fear is not always a foe, in fact in many cases fear can be a friend and a gift even.
What gift has fear given me? Fear has given me the gift of staying the course, of knowing my truth and of following the path of the heart.
Sometimes when fear arises there is a message there for us, in some cases fear is there to caution us from going down a path that is not for us, that will not serve us and will do us harm.
Fear can teach us how to listen to our bodies to discern the messages that it gives us and know when to head its message or to continue forward. Fear teaches us many things and like anything we wish to conquer it must first be embraced.
The first time I listened to fear and tuned into it’s message I was surprised. I was surprised how wise it was and how much relief I felt once I listened to it’s guidance. Do not be fooled however or make excuses for yourself or blame fear when it is your mind that is creating false illusions to block your path.
It is why it is important to tune into the fear to know if it comes from your place of heart or from your head.
Fear has given me the gift of knowing the difference between the two, knowing when it speaks the truth or when it is preventing me from moving to my truth.
Today I celebrate all the gifts fear has given me even the ones I was afraid of listening too.
When the path that you are looking at is the right one to travel on?
How do you know when the stars have aligned?
When you have met your soulmate?
When you have connected with your purpose?
How do you know that all will be well, that everything will unfold before you as it is meant?
How do you know the right words to say, the time to say it and how to speak it?
How do you know where to look for the answers?
How do you know if your heart is your guide? Or if you are being guided by your head?
How do you know?
Today I celebrate the gift of knowing, that comes from simply knowing and trusting the guidance you feel. Today I celebrate the ability of not questioning the knowing and following what you feel is true in you heart.
Today I celebrate the ability to know when I know and to know the source in which the knowing comes from.
Today I celebrate this, I may never know how, when, where or why but I do this, it is the knowing of my truth that has got me this far and continues to guide the way ahead.
Today I celebrate the gift of passion, a reawakening of sparks, of light and of a drive to carry me forward.
Since I was a child I had a passion for horses, every since I can remember they have been a part of my life, my dreams, my goals and my aspirations. I have followed that passion with every breath never letting go of my desire, my need to in some way have the horses be a part of my life.
I am grateful that I have been able to come together with them in a way that is both powerful and fulfilling. I am in awe that this is my life, that what I had dreamed of as a little girl is a reality.
It hasn’t always been an easy road, in fact there have been times where I did not know what I was going to do with my life, with myself, or how I was going to be able to fulfill this dream with the horses. My passion kept me going, that fire in my heart burned brighter than any doubt or fear could burn. My passion for these magnificent animals and for a life worth living has been what has kept me going day in and day out. Not everyday is a fantasy or a dream come true, some days are filled with only the mundane but whenever I feel as if I am losing that light or spark, I tune into myself that passion and allow it to ignite my way once again.
Today I give thanks to not only my passion but to the horses who continue to guide my way.